Modified: February 10, 2022
people want to see you thrive
This page is from my personal notes, and has not been specifically reviewed for public consumption. It might be incomplete, wrong, outdated, or stupid. Caveat lector.When you're thinking about doing something that feels right to you, it's easy to get caught up in worrying about what other people will think. This is especially true when you're thinking of letting a new side of yourself out into the world, as in:
- coming out
- writing or speaking about tough experiences, in a way that comes off as vulnerable
In my case, I worry about the image I've built up. I want to be a warm, joyful, funny person, but I've spent a long time trying to get people to see me as a smart, serious person. I'm afraid that people who got to know the identity that I was inhabiting will judge me or at least be uninterested in the sides of myself that I was suppressing. Or they'll be offended that I was lying to them about who I really was. They'll see me as inconsistent.
This fear isn't unfounded, exactly, but it's misguided; it's true but wrong. More than anything, your friends want to see you happy and thriving. They want you to come alive. They're much less caught up than you are in your notions of who you're "supposed" to be.