Created: February 23, 2020
Modified: February 23, 2020
Modified: February 23, 2020
what I have lost
This page is from my personal notes, and has not been specifically reviewed for public consumption. It might be incomplete, wrong, outdated, or stupid. Caveat lector.- Just like norms in the Trump administration, there are mental habits, rhythms of life, attitudes towards the world, that are powerfully helpful but also ephemeral. I've several times had the feeling that I was losing something valuable. By definition, whatever these concepts are, I don't have them now. But maybe there's something I can articulate.
- Belief in my own greatness. I used to think I knew things that the vast majority of even very prestigious people do not. I knew that most of AI research was missing the point. I knew that arguments for AI Safety and rationality were true and yet not taken seriously. People didn't seriously respect arguments from ignorance, from previously poor forecasts: yes we don't think we'll have superintelligent AI soon, but in 2011 no one thought we'd blow out Imagenet within a couple of years either. Unexpected things can happen. I knew that most teaching was not done well---it is as if the teachers were following a formula, rather than trying maniacally to iterate on doing better. I knew that most academics don't really care about impact, and most people in industry don't care about ideas---to make a difference, you have to have both. Etc. The effect of all of this is that I was willing to think bold thoughts. I was willing to believe that the conventional wisdom was wrong. I was willing to believe that my own work could be revolutionary.
- A related attribute: the confidence to give advice. I used to feel like I could talk with anyone going to grad school, even any other grad student. With the grad students I was an equal, and with the undergrads I was an expert. Now, I haven't had the privilege of advice working out, so it's much harder to give advice.
- Drive to improve. I used to stress about using time well. I stressed about the right balance between courses, research work, reading